Life sometimes has an unexpected way of going. I know we cant control alot, but sometimes it feels like we control nothing.
Its kinda of funny, we used to have 3 dogs, then had a child and 3 dogs. Then had a second child and 3 dogs. Then 2 kids, 2 dogs; 2 kids, 1 dog (not for long); then 3 kids, 2 dogs; and now 3 kids, 1 dog. I'm done with adding dogs to the family, for now. Saying goodbye is so hard for me to do.
The picture with all 3 dogs, was taken the same day I found out I was pregnant with Bobby. I will never forget it. The picture above, Rocky, he unexpectedly had to be put down on friday. All 3 of the dogs have passed. All 3 died year after year; Moose in 2012, Rylee in May 2013, and Rocky 2014.
While I want to know in my heart it was really Rocky's time, I cant but help to feel some guilt. Awhile ago, I laid down poison in the backyard - - well, I buried it - and I thought I had all but only put enough out to kill the gophers. Well, our newest puppy Sadie has made our backyard the damn grand canyon and has dug craters and mountains that has wrecked much of the yard. I think Sadie dug up some of the bait, or a dead gopher and either Rocky inhaled some bait or ate a gopher. In any case, Rocky in the end had pneumonia like symptoms (or the vet thought some rare boxer cardiomyopathy) but I carry with me a heavy heart feeling responsible. We will never know for sure, so I just pray it was Rocky's time.
I sobbed friday when I had to say goodbye. The vet recommended I not stay during the process because his breathing was already so labored it was going to just get worse as they put him to sleep. So I had to leave while he was still awake. Kills me.
Today, we were out back and did alot of cleaning. Sort of therapy too I guess. I sat today by the doghouse we built for Sadie & Rocky and just sobbed. I just cant believe the 3 dogs that were in this old crummy house are not here today.
I guess I know why my parents didnt want us to have pets.
Time heals. I know it will.
Miss all 3 of these critters.
